13 Comments

So true, unfortunately. We have to learn to enjoy the journey, which is hard.

Expand full comment
author

Yes, especially the part where we're reliant on other people to keep things moving!

Expand full comment

The arrival fallacy. Hmmm. 🤔 Never heard of it before, but can definitely understand the concept. Sometimes these big events or moments almost feel like a letdown because there was so much to-do before it.

As far as advice, or what I do, I try to not live too far in the future, and take things day by day. When I was querying, I stopped hoping for a reply, just got caught up in life, you know? It helps. You've made your wish/desire and you have to wait -- and you can wait with equanimity or like a crazy woman pulling her hair out.

What is that they say? A watched pot never boils. 🙃

But ultimately, I think everyone has to figure their way out or through. It's your journey, Joy. Make it work, and make it your own! 💖

P.S. nice to hear your voice!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! At first I thought you meant my writing voice...lol.

Expand full comment

I approach my long, difficult goals by living in day-tight compartments, which is basically working on small goals each day. But I'm not in the query trenches, so I cannot speak to that stress. I wish you well. Your writing is so beautiful. I am excited to read your memoir!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Kathy! Small daily goals is a great way to do it!

Expand full comment
Apr 17Liked by Joy V.

I think we’re wired—or, more likely, trained—to want completion of the hand-wiping, “there, that’s done” variety. For me, there’s a level of anxiety until I arrive there, even for piddly things. When it’s a long-term, deeply held objective, and you don’t know what the outcome will be, it’s so difficult to find peace. I wish I had an idea how to do that. Back to floating!

Expand full comment
author

Yes, and it doesn't help that it's largely out of my hands, too.

Expand full comment

Please 🙏🏽 Do Not abandon your water metaphors. It’s a Voyage after all. I picture you with A Published Book under your arm, as you take your next swing over the bog of eternal stench. 🤣

Expand full comment

PS: thanks for reminder to use my gift certificate to the float tank! Effing heaven on earth. Sorry about your neck. May the agent of your dreams swoop in and heal it for you

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! Yes, the float tank is awesome and I'm definitely going back.

Expand full comment

It really IS about the journey, not the destination. If you could LIVE that way, I have a feeling your destination will automatically appear; especially after your child is no longer of the age that you have to pick them up from school. I know that seems a lifetime away, but.....DON'T BLINK~ it's not!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! That's an interesting insight. I'm definitely trying to savor this time with her, it's already gone by so fast.

Expand full comment