Big Alcohol and Big Tobacco get them when they're young and hang on to them as long as possible. And college campuses serve as an incubator for drinking, vaping and weed, etc. My husband's drinking buddies were all just oversized frat boys who never stopped.
Then because of the mentality that "kids are just going to drink anyway", many parents make it available to them. I just wrote a piece about parents drinking with their teens (to teach them to "drink responsibly"). The thinking is "they do it in Europe and those teens don't have a drinking problem". Totally false.
It's so sad that alcohol is just accepted as part of life.
And I am so sorry about your brother. Mine was a substance abuser from adolescence until the day he died (addicted to meth) in his 50s. It did a number on me as a parent - all sorts of fear for my son. I don't know if you have kids, but be sure you deal with the emotions so you don't over-parent your kids. I caused all sorts of problems.
Thank you so much for responding. I do have an 11yo daughter and we’ve had some really frank conversations this year about addiction, the harms of alcohol, and grief. She definitely finds it confusing that a substance that many people use but don’t abuse can destroy others. (We live in Austin, which has like the highest per capita number of bars or something.) The warning about over-parenting is a great point.
This is so powerful and important. I'm sorry you had to write it, but I'm grateful that you did write it with your usual perseverance and clarity. You're so wise to connect addiction with capitalism. It makes me think about all the alcohol ads targeted to mothers - "mommy juice," etc. Definitely lots to think about here and to share with my teenage son!
My heart goes out to you, Joy. I hadn't thought of advertisement being a key player in this awful disease, but you're right. It is. I'm taking a break from alcohol for the time being, and it has been so insightful. I have noticed so much more lately, including some pretty challenging inner work that needs attention. I hope you are gentle with yourself through this trying chapter.
Thank you. This too has radically changed my relationship to alcohol, and that may be one of the few “good” things to come out of this experience. I see it as the poison it is.
This is very insightful. As a parent, I’m fending off the predatory schemes left and right, and trying to equip my daughters with strong bullshit detectors (bullshit, meaning, marketing ploys and other traps vying for their attention). I’m working on an essay that talks about coveting things we cannot afford. Similar marketing tactics are at play.
Wow, Joy! What a powerful piece you’ve written so eloquently captures what you’ve been through these last few months with your brother. The marketing behind these humongous industries is so sophisticated and shameful.
I’m so sorry your brother has become enmeshed with alcohol. My best friend struggles with her addiction as well and multiple rehabs made me question our allegiance because her drinking despite its myriad negatives—and her knowledge of the pain she causes—her drinking didn’t stop. Someone suggested Al-Anon and I attended a meeting. I’m pretty sure that even if you have to try more than one group (and Zoom groups increased over COVID)you may find some comfort and support.
Joy, I am saddened to learn what you've been through. But you are so effective with your writing that I think there's a good chance you will help others. I also hope it can be somewhat cathartic for you. Regards, Gary
On one hand, we’re all personally responsible for our decisions and health. Of course the alcohol industry wants to increase profits—like any other business.
On the other, we can’t expect young people to use good judgment and make informed decisions when peer pressure, social pressures, the normalization of problematic drinking behaviors, hard-hitting advertisements, and withheld information on alcohol’s negative health effects all contribute to rates of alcoholism.
For example, most people don’t know alcohol causes several cancers. For years, the only headlines I saw about alcohol were positive (“Red Wine Good For Your Heart”).
Also, we can't expect adults to use good judgement if they have been reamed by grief, trauma, and mental illness in a culture that offers little support. (My brother didn't develop an addiction until his late 30s, after a series of traumas and the isolation of the pandemic.)
I’m one of those annoying moderate drinkers but this seems like placing too much blame on an entity that’s not really concerned with people’s health ultimately. It was never their responsibility in the first place.
Thank for the commentary. I have zero hope that Big Alcohol will rein itself in, not when so much easy money is being made off our most vulnerable people. But I do hope we are smarter and better than just shrugging and saying "oh well, I guess people will die, nothing can be done about that."
Joy, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Thank you for introducing me to the idea of "limbic capitalism." I can certainly see its effects, particularly around alcohol, in my own extended family.
Oh wow! That is so not my brother, but the nihilistic marketing would definitely appeal to that “market.” Gotta wonder if that’s one of their marketing personas.
There are deep biological hooks that sit waiting to be satisfied built into our genes as well. It is nature's shotgun approach to survival mechanisms. Most mammals love getting dizzy. From kitties to people, spinning around is fun. This buzz love may be as simple as a primal need to be able to eat fermenting fruit when that was what was available. Say, in the distant past when we were scrounging for survival beneath the feet of dinosaurs. Perhaps those who succumbed to alcohol poisoning more easily were largely weeded out of the gene pool back then.
BUT I can say that under the right social situation, just about anyone can be enticed and drinking culture is as old as civilization. That's an easy hook to exploit and a hard nut to resist when the right triggers are pulled.
Big Alcohol and Big Tobacco get them when they're young and hang on to them as long as possible. And college campuses serve as an incubator for drinking, vaping and weed, etc. My husband's drinking buddies were all just oversized frat boys who never stopped.
Then because of the mentality that "kids are just going to drink anyway", many parents make it available to them. I just wrote a piece about parents drinking with their teens (to teach them to "drink responsibly"). The thinking is "they do it in Europe and those teens don't have a drinking problem". Totally false.
It's so sad that alcohol is just accepted as part of life.
And I am so sorry about your brother. Mine was a substance abuser from adolescence until the day he died (addicted to meth) in his 50s. It did a number on me as a parent - all sorts of fear for my son. I don't know if you have kids, but be sure you deal with the emotions so you don't over-parent your kids. I caused all sorts of problems.
Thank you so much for responding. I do have an 11yo daughter and we’ve had some really frank conversations this year about addiction, the harms of alcohol, and grief. She definitely finds it confusing that a substance that many people use but don’t abuse can destroy others. (We live in Austin, which has like the highest per capita number of bars or something.) The warning about over-parenting is a great point.
This is so powerful and important. I'm sorry you had to write it, but I'm grateful that you did write it with your usual perseverance and clarity. You're so wise to connect addiction with capitalism. It makes me think about all the alcohol ads targeted to mothers - "mommy juice," etc. Definitely lots to think about here and to share with my teenage son!
Yes! I heard a radio ad targeting young women and the brand was touted as “clean drinking” because of its organic ingredients. The fuck!?
My heart goes out to you, Joy. I hadn't thought of advertisement being a key player in this awful disease, but you're right. It is. I'm taking a break from alcohol for the time being, and it has been so insightful. I have noticed so much more lately, including some pretty challenging inner work that needs attention. I hope you are gentle with yourself through this trying chapter.
Thank you. This too has radically changed my relationship to alcohol, and that may be one of the few “good” things to come out of this experience. I see it as the poison it is.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, Joy. I hope your brother's condition improves dramatically, and soon.
EVERYONE should read this. And talk about it. And DO something. For starters, spread this post.
This is very insightful. As a parent, I’m fending off the predatory schemes left and right, and trying to equip my daughters with strong bullshit detectors (bullshit, meaning, marketing ploys and other traps vying for their attention). I’m working on an essay that talks about coveting things we cannot afford. Similar marketing tactics are at play.
I look forward to reading that, because tween marketing is a nightmare right now, too. Definitely an ongoing issue in our house.
Wow, Joy! What a powerful piece you’ve written so eloquently captures what you’ve been through these last few months with your brother. The marketing behind these humongous industries is so sophisticated and shameful.
I’m so sorry your brother has become enmeshed with alcohol. My best friend struggles with her addiction as well and multiple rehabs made me question our allegiance because her drinking despite its myriad negatives—and her knowledge of the pain she causes—her drinking didn’t stop. Someone suggested Al-Anon and I attended a meeting. I’m pretty sure that even if you have to try more than one group (and Zoom groups increased over COVID)you may find some comfort and support.
Joy, I am saddened to learn what you've been through. But you are so effective with your writing that I think there's a good chance you will help others. I also hope it can be somewhat cathartic for you. Regards, Gary
Thank you, Gary. There are so many infuriating systemic forces at play that I was oblivious to, I definitely hope to keep tackling this.
I love their product, but at 9.5 percent abv and as a responsible drinker, I limit myself to only one of these, and in rare occasions two.
Both you and Joy make valid points.
On one hand, we’re all personally responsible for our decisions and health. Of course the alcohol industry wants to increase profits—like any other business.
On the other, we can’t expect young people to use good judgment and make informed decisions when peer pressure, social pressures, the normalization of problematic drinking behaviors, hard-hitting advertisements, and withheld information on alcohol’s negative health effects all contribute to rates of alcoholism.
For example, most people don’t know alcohol causes several cancers. For years, the only headlines I saw about alcohol were positive (“Red Wine Good For Your Heart”).
Also, we can't expect adults to use good judgement if they have been reamed by grief, trauma, and mental illness in a culture that offers little support. (My brother didn't develop an addiction until his late 30s, after a series of traumas and the isolation of the pandemic.)
I’m one of those annoying moderate drinkers but this seems like placing too much blame on an entity that’s not really concerned with people’s health ultimately. It was never their responsibility in the first place.
Thank for the commentary. I have zero hope that Big Alcohol will rein itself in, not when so much easy money is being made off our most vulnerable people. But I do hope we are smarter and better than just shrugging and saying "oh well, I guess people will die, nothing can be done about that."
Joy, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Thank you for introducing me to the idea of "limbic capitalism." I can certainly see its effects, particularly around alcohol, in my own extended family.
This is an excellent piece, Joy - I appreciate you sharing it with me. I'm sorry you and your family have had to go through this.
I feel like Voo Doo Ranger is the official beer of incels?
Oh wow! That is so not my brother, but the nihilistic marketing would definitely appeal to that “market.” Gotta wonder if that’s one of their marketing personas.
There are deep biological hooks that sit waiting to be satisfied built into our genes as well. It is nature's shotgun approach to survival mechanisms. Most mammals love getting dizzy. From kitties to people, spinning around is fun. This buzz love may be as simple as a primal need to be able to eat fermenting fruit when that was what was available. Say, in the distant past when we were scrounging for survival beneath the feet of dinosaurs. Perhaps those who succumbed to alcohol poisoning more easily were largely weeded out of the gene pool back then.
BUT I can say that under the right social situation, just about anyone can be enticed and drinking culture is as old as civilization. That's an easy hook to exploit and a hard nut to resist when the right triggers are pulled.
I mean alcohol addiction and other addictions are horrific but where is that line of divide?